Using the Habits to Solve Conflicts

It has been such a busy time for us all, I haven't had time to blog.  But as part of my personal growth, "sharpening the saw" is one of the 7 Habits I need to dedicate more time to.  For me, blogging sharpens my saw! 

Yesterday I was meeting with 2 students who were experiencing some friendship issues (I dedicate a lot of counseling sessions to this type of thing).  Usually I find it is best to have all parties involved present so that we can all talk safely and honestly.  Anyway, I was giving my usual "conflict resolution" strategy suggestions when the light bulb went off!  Why did I never think of this?!  These ARE the 7 Habits.  As I've already posted, we're going through the Leader in Me process and have been teaching the 7 habits for some time now.  I realized that these strategies would probably make a lot more sense to students if I used the language they are used to:  7 habits lingo.  Thus, my teaching tool was born:  Using the 7 Habits to Solve Conflicts.  This was something that was easy for me to explain to students, made sense to them, and integrated concepts we were already teaching.  I even put up this poster outside my office (which is also located right by the bathrooms that my 4th grade friends use).  4th graders by far write me the most notes about this topic, so I thought...hmm, maybe if I post this in a central location, they can try to use the skills first, BEFORE they get to me.  I use the 7 habits in so many ways, but I'm still amazed to see how easily they integrate into everything I do. 

How do you use the 7 Habits to teach conflict resolution?

The Electric Company: Feel Electric!



Mood Dude:  Create one to show how you're feeling!



I am excited this week to be writing about an iPad app that i have fallen in love with!  It is by The Electric Company and is called "Feel Electric!" by Sesame Street. I was so excited when another school counselor in my county (thank you Ann!) told me about this app and I couldn't wait to try it out.  This app has so many different aspects that cover all types of moods and feelings.  There are games that students can play, videos to watch, and other activities to help students understand different feelings, identify facial expressions, and expand their vocabulary.  Students indicate how they are currently feeling (see below) when they first log in, and their feelings are tracked over time in the Moodosphere.

How do you feel today?



home screen



My favorite part of this app is how extensive it is!  When I first looked at it, I though it might be pretty basic, but as I started playing with it and explored with my students, I found that there is such a wide array of feeling words and feeling faces.  I love how students learn to match facial expressions with the appropriate feeling through fun games and activities.  It is colorful and plays cheerful music which quickly draws in students.  My favorite section on the app is Mood Tales.  This is kind of like Mad Lib, because students read a story and fill in feeling words.  It's kind of silly but the kids really enjoy it.  I also love how it tracks students' feelings overtime in the Moodosphere.  This can be really useful when identifying what services might be appropriate for students.



I have used this app mostly in my individual counseling sessions, but I think it could also be really useful in small groups:  especially those focused on social skills.  Feeling identification and facial expressions are such a huge skill that young students need to learn.  As far as individual counseling, I have a Kindergarten student who I have started working with.  She is extremely shy and has not opened up to me yet.  I have been trying different ways to get her to express her emotions, and by far this one has been my favorite.  Although she will not tell me with her words how she is feeling, she likes to show me on this app, and that is a success!



What's the Word!  Earn points for learning new words





Trudy Ludwig

For today's Friday Find, I am excited to write about one of my favorite authors, Trudy Ludwig.  We all teach lessons on bullying to students, but a  lot of the time the bullying that is going on is relational ("bullying between friends" as I describe it to students).  Don't get me wrong...I love my Bully Beans lesson, but sometimes the strategies we use in teaching this type of bullying do not address problems between friends.  Every year, especially in 4th and 5th grade, my purple mailbox is flooded with notes from students wanting to talk about a problem with a friend.  Most of the time it is something along the lines of:  "Susie stole my friend Sara" or "Susie is hanging out with Sara now and not with me so I don't like it" or  "I'm trying to hang out with my new friend Susie, but Susie's other friend is giving me dirty looks."  And trust me--it's not just girls.  Trudy Ludwig's books address this specific type of bullying and fit right in with the goals and strategies that I'm trying to instill in my 4th and 5th grade students.  My favorite ones are My Secret Bully, Trouble Talk, and, Confessions of a Former Bully.

 

My favorite part about Trudy Ludwig's books is that they lend themselves to some excellent discussions.  Usually all I have to do is bring up the topic and students already begin opening up about their personal experiences.  After reading the stories, students are easily able to come up with real life connections, and even come up with some solutions using ideas from the characters.  My favorite types of lessons are the ones that get kids talking.  I always address the fact that this happens between boys and girls, and the funny part is that a lot of the boys start nodding their heads!

As I previously stated, there's not a lot of planning that goes into a lesson using one of these great books.  Usually for classroom guidance, I review what we already know about bullying.  Next, I tell the class that we're going to talk about a type of bullying that isn't as talked about:  bullying between friends.  I have students give me some examples of what "bullying between friends" looks like.  They are easily able to tell me (as they are seeing it happen in their class and at recess!).  It never fails that students will bring up those topics that I get the counseling referrals about:  friends stealing friends, friends spreading rumors, friends ignoring them.  Next, we read one of the stories and have a discussion.  This year, I used Trouble Talk with 4th grade to focus on the gossip and rumors, and My Secret Bully in 5th grade to focus more about "friends stealing friends."  Confessions of a Former Bully is very empowering because it gives the "inside scoop" from a former bully.  I haven't used this one in the classroom yet, but plan to soon!  These books have also lent themselves to some great discussions in individual and small group counseling as well. 

How have you used Trudy Ludwig's books to facilitate discussions on relational aggression?

How to Lose All Your Friends

How to Lose All Your Friends by Nancy Carlson is one of my staple lessons in first grade.  This is a time when students are beginning to learn behaviors that can help them or hurt them in developing friendships. When starting this lesson, I always ask students, "Why do you think I would read you a story about how to lose your friends?"  They quickly come to the conclusion that I want for them to learn what NOT to do when making friends.  This story goes through some of the "big" mistakes that children sometimes make in making friends, such as being grumpy, tattling, not sharing, being a bully, etc.  The story is cute and the kids love to say "No!" or "that's wrong!"  as we go through the story.  After the story, I tell the students that they will have the chance to write their own book.  This book will be called How to Make Friends.  We brainstorm some ways that we can make friends (smiling, sharing, helping) and then I show them how to fold their paper into their book.  I tell them that just like my book had words and pictures, I want for their book to have the same.  The students love making these little books, and are so excited when they get to take them home.  The bonus is that they will have a take-home reminder of our lesson and how to effectively make and keep friends.

Seeing Red! An Anger Management and Peacemaking Curriculum

Earlier this week, I posted about a Sesame Street video that touches on a common intervention for anger management, but I thought I'd share the incredible resource that I use in my Anger groups.  It's called Seeing Red:  An Anger Management and Peacemaking Curriculum by Jennifer Simmonds.  This book has a comprehensive plan for each group session and goes through the step by step procedures for every group.  I love how simple it makes my planning.  I usually don't have my groups for longer than 6-7 sessions, so I'm never able to complete every lesson, but I have my "go-to" lessons and then pick and choose depending on the group's individual needs.

What I love about this book the most is that it makes my planning so easy.  It goes through every group session starting with the introduction session, and ending with a celebration.  I also love that it includes a self-assessment and Icebreakers for every group session.  The lessons are easily adaptable, and I've added my own spin to some of them.  She even includes an "estimated time" for each part of the session. My favorite session is the one on discovering our anger triggers.  There is a list of triggers and students are asked to lay down a "yes" or a "no" card depending on whether it makes them angry or not.  I took it one step further and made little signs with "yes" on one side and "no" on the other.  Students hold up their popsicle stick sign depending on their answer.  We then discuss how knowing what our anger triggers helps us to manage our anger in a healthy way.  Kids easily understand that by knowing what our triggers are, we are able to identify our anger early enough to make a good decision.

As I stated earlier, the book includes steps for every group session--from beginning to end.  The book includes 12 sessions, however, my groups typically only last 6-7 weeks, depending on the need.  When I start planning my groups, I alwasy have my "go-to" sessions--the ones I do with everyone.  These include "discovering my anger,"  "Warning: I'm getting Mad!," and "Digging Deeper: What's under all that anger."  With the other sessions, I decide which to use depending on the group dynamics and developmental level.  Another adjustment I made was with the session called "Digging Deeper."  I have used the anger mask in the past, but recently saw a blog post about creating "anger sandwiches."  I love being hands on in my groups so I decided to give it a try before Christmas.  It was a hit!  The kids were easily able to identify underlying feelings beneath their anger and put those inside the sandwich.  The top peice of bread was "Anger."  I also loved that they had something to take home after to review.


Have you used this resource?  How have you added your own "spin" to it?

Sesame Street in Counseling

As I have been perusing Pinterest, I'm always finding new ideas to use in my counseling program. I have seen several videos from Sesame Street which promote pro social skills and align with my standards and counseling goals. Tonight while watching Sesame Street videos with my 1 1/2 year old niece, I was so excited to come across a video called Belly Breathe where Elmo sings along with Common and Colbie Caillat about taming the "monster" inside of you. I am so excited to use this video with my anger groups and individual students, but I also wanted to share with you!





Also, check out some of the other great Sesame Street songs that teach counseling related skills such as:

"What I Am" by Will.I.Am
"Don't Give Up" by Bruno Mars

Plus, there are tons of other Sesame Street videos on topics such as friendship, conflict resolution, feelings, etc.!

I love that I can use these videos to review concepts that I am already teaching children, and the catchy songs will help them to remember the skill.  Be sure to check out Sesame Street's website or YouTube channel for more videos that you can use in your counseling program.

Class Dojo

As engaging as I try to make my groups, sometimes things don't go as planned.  Students can often lose focus or become silly and rowdy.  Being the counselor can be difficult because there's a line that we dont want to cross.  We want to teach them skills such as self control, anger management strategies, and social skills, but we don't want to be put in the disciplanarian position. 

That being said, I've played around with several different ideas in groups to keep students motivated.  I'm so excited to be starting an idea which I first saw on Pinterest:  Class Dojo.  Several teachers in my school use Class Dojo (a website and iPad app) to monitor student behavior.  Each student has an avatar (a monster) which you can change to the student's picture.  Teachers can modify their behaviors (to add or take away points).  Students will hear a ding when they receive a point and a buzz when they lose a point.  I plan on using the Dojo for each group and points will be awarded for participation, modeling skills (anger management, social skills, self control).  Instead of monitoring each student, I plan on creating an avatar for each group.  They will collectively earn points, and we can even create reports on the program to look at our overall performance and analyze data.  I want to put up a chart on the wall so that we can record their points for each session.  Groups will be able to monitor their progress in comparison to other groups.

What type of behavior management system do you use for classroom guidance or groups?

Getting Groups Started

Well, it's the first week of October and i'm finally getting my groups organized.  It's been busy around here, so I'm glad to finally get some "routine" to my day.  Every year, I change something about the way I conduct groups--trial and error if you will.  Sometimes it's the content I teach (depending on student needs, new resources, or fresh ideas), and other times it's the organization and behavior management of groups.  So here's what I've done this year:
Groups I have beginning October 1st:

Self Control (grades 1, 2, 3, and 4)
Family Changes (grades 1 and 3)
Self Esteem (grades 4 and 5)
Anger (grades 3 and 4)

First (after receiving parent permission),  I decide what day of the week and what time we will meet (most of my groups meet at lunch).  I use a document, Group Layout Form, to organize my days.  I will not be conducting groups on Fridays this year so that I will have additional time to catch up with individual students.

Next, I set up my group table (well, 2 desks put together).  I'm hoping to add a tablecloth to make it more appealing.  I'm so excited to have this space for just my group stuff this year so it will be easily accessible.  It's right next to the round table where groups meet.  See below.  It includes a copy of my group expectations, a basket for pawprints and stickers (keep reading), my group layout form, paperclips (for clipping finished work), my 7 Habits talking stick, and all of my group materials/files.

I have 2 ideas going for behavior management.  In all of my groups, each student has a purple pawprint (we're the Wildcats) with their name on it.  When they are following group expectations (see Taming the Test for my expecations), they will receive a sticker for their pawprint.  This idea came from another school counselor, and kids are loving it!

For my 3rd grade anger group, we are in need of a little more structure. Therefore, I've decided to use the angry bird game found on pinterest.  The students will earn cups for following expectations, and will get to play the angry birds game for the last 5 minutes of group.  They are all really into Angry Birds so this should go over well!

As far as organizing lesson plans, I have decided to use a form found in Dianne Senn's Small Group Counseling for Children which lets you list all students and your lesson topics including warmup activity, etc.  This book is a great resource!!

How do you organize your small groups?



Whats your Weather?

As I've already shared, my school has the privilege of becoming a Leader in Me school this year.  Part of Habit 1: Be Proactive is choosing your own weather.  Despite what outside forces are impacting you, we can make the decision to be happy.  This is something I've been focusing a lot of energy on and guess what! IT'S WORKING!  I'm happier than I've ever been, I feel more successful in my work, and it has been much easier to solve conflicts in my personal life. 

So I had a thought...why not use the weather as an assessment tool in finding out how a child is feeling?  So I decided to make the above display for my room:  What's your weather?  The child can pick the weather symbol that best describes how they're feeling and then explain more about what it means.  Here's my thought but it's up to interpretation by each child:

Sunny = happy

Sun peeking behind cloud = feeling OK

Cloudy = not feeling my best

Rainy = sad

Lightening = angry

After the child figures out which weather picture depicts how they are feeling, we will be able to discuss it and then talk about how to make ourselves feel sunny again.  Some other ideas that I've received from others (and use all the time) are the emotions tree, feelings posters, etc. 

What do you use to assess a child's feelings?

Right on Target!

As many of you have been doing this summer, I'm constantly on the look for items and ideas for the next school year.  I've been making mental notes of all of the ideas I want to try in getting my counseling program running this fall.  Hours have been on pinterest searching for ideas (you can follow my counseling board here http://pinterest.com/tracimh/creative-counseling/).  As a thrifty counselor, one of my favorite shopping spots is the dollar section at Target!  I get so excited this time of year with all of the great stuff they have for $1 that I can utilize in my counseling practices.  Yesterday, I found a few things that I wanted to share with you all.  I'm sure I will be back again many times before the school year starts, but here's what I picked up so far:

Exciting stuff, I know!  Here's my plan so far:

1.  Pipe cleaners---I don't know where to start!  I'm sure these will be used for many craft projects in small groups, hmm, maybe I should go grab more?

2.  Sparkly Pom Pom balls---Last year, I decided that in all of my groups, I would start the first session in the same way.  We would go over our group guidelines and then read the story Have you Filled A Bucket Today?  I think its a great way to talk about respect and working together as a group to help each other...we are all there for a similar reason.  Here comes my pom pom idea...as a behavior management strategy, we will work together as a group to fill our group bucket (I haven't purchased the bucket yet).  I'm thinking of somehow working this into my guidance lessons too.  Any suggestions on that?

3.  Wipe Clean Double Sided Sentence Strips---I was so excited to find these after reading a pin on pinterest about having students practice writing "I statements" in small groups.  These were a must-buy!

4.  Paper Mouse Pad---a mouse pad I can write on???? Whaaaattttt?!  I really love organization, planning, calendars, that type of thing; so when I found this mousepad that has 20 sheets of monthly grids, I was sold!

What bargains have you found for your school counseling office next year?

Taming the Test

Thanks to Allison from the Counseling Corner for the
blank controller!

Today we are back in school after a restful and relaxing SPRING BREAK!  I put all of my school stuff aside and took a much needed break.  Now that we're back, the focus is on getting prepared for end of grade testing! Yikes!  Cue the scary music.  In the past I have always done guidance lessons in 3-5 classes on stress and relaxation techniques.  We talk about good stress (that motivates us to do our best) and bad stress (that keeps us from doing our best).  This year, I've been asked to present small groups for third graders who have really been having a hard time with benchmarks this year.  I was immediately excited to think of all of the cool ideas I've seen on other blogs, pintrest, and other sites on this topic.  I decided to expand the offer to all grades 3-5 and the feedback was AMAZING!  I am currently facilitating 6 groups on test anxiety, serving 22 students.  I feel so motivated to help these kids learn techniques for reducing stress in testing situations.  I started a few of the groups before spring break, and the feedback from students was great.  I heard comments such as, "this will be really helpful,"  "I can't wait to tell my mom what I'm learning, she will be so excited;" and "I'm so happy to meet other kids who feel this way."  I'm so happy that the kids are just as excited as I am.  I will post more later on what we've done in the group, but here's some of the items on the agenda:

• Where I feel stress in my body, and how to relax my body
• Relaxation techniques and other ways to reduce stress
• Taking Back Control (this uses a game controller to teach strategies for test taking)
• Thinking positive thoughts



Where I feel stress in my body






Strategies to relax my body

And as I am posting about small groups, I thought I would share my group "Rules", or as I call them EXPECTATIONS...

1. Be Here.  This means I am an active member of this group.
2. Be Safe.  I know that what I say in here stays in here.  I know that I have the right to pass if I don't want to share.
3. Be Respectful.  I will listen while others are sharing and use kind words.
4. Be Confidential.  I will respect my friends' privacy by not sharing what is said in group.  I know that I can share my group experience with my family or teacher, but not my friend's experience.

My Anger Mask

This morning I was trying to plan something to work on with one of my regular students with anger issues when I decided to expand on a lesson I already teach in my anger management groups.  This student has a lot going on at home and we've already been working on the windows activity, but I wanted to get to the root of his anger.  We talked about the anger mask (the activity from Seeing Red: An Anger Management and Peacemaking Curriculum for Kids).  I love this book for so many reasons!  After showing him my anger mask (made out of a paper plate), we made a list of some "unpleasant feelings" on the board: discouraged, jealous, embarassed, hurt, scared, worried, etc.  Next, I gave him his pre-prepared foldable in which to draw his anger mask on the front.  I explained to him that sometimes when we're angry, we're actually feeling something else on the inside.  I give him several examples, such as someone calling you a name....you may show your angry face, but actually you might be feeling hurt.  After drawing his anger mask, we pick out some of the other unpleasant feelings that we may be actually feeling on the inside, and draw them inside the foldable.  It ended up being a great visual (see mine below) and started some great conversations about some of the things causing this little guy to be angry.  I've posted pictures of mine below, but didn't want to show his due to confidentiality, but it was awesome! I'll definitely be doing this activity again!

How do you "dig deeper" to figure out the root of a child's feelings?

Play-Doh Creations

I'm sure for many of you, play-doh is a staple in your school counseling office.  It is so useful in small groups and individual counseling.  I have found that kids open up so much when they have something to play with (whether its legos, play-doh, or a drawing).  Many of us have heard of Play Therapy of course, but not as common is Clay Therapy.  Paul White is a child therapist who offers seminars and keynote speeches on the topic.  Although I've never attended one, I have perused his website, Paul White's Clay Therapy, and learned some things from a fellow school counselor on how to use Play-Doh as a tool in individual counseling.  It's a great hands-activity that takes away the anxiety of a first visit with the school counselor, and also gives the child something to take home!  Paul White can teach you to make just about anything out of play-doh by simply using snakes, balls, and other simple things we all know how to create already! He has a whole gallery of "critters" such as a snail (I use this to teach self-control...slowing down), airplanes (be the pilot of your brain!), and roses (self-esteem, inner beauty?).  Even if you don't get to attend one of his seminars, you can still use your creativity with Play-Doh in counseling.  Below you can see some snails I made with a student that i've left in my office to dry:

How do you use Play-Doh in counseling settings?

My Mouth is a Volcano!

I'm already writing about another Julia Cook book.  I just can't get enough!  This time I used the book My Mouth is a Volcano in 2nd grade.  This book is about a boy named Louis who has a big problem with "erupting" (interrupting).  His "important words slide down from his head onto his tongue.  His tummy starts to rumble, and then it starts to grumble.  His words begin to wiggle, and then they do the jiggle.  His tongue pushes all of his important words into his teeth and his volcano erupts!"  This  a cute story that children really enjoy.  Toward the end, Louis's mom teaches him a technique to keep him from interrupting.  I have used this book in classroom guidance, small groups, and individual counseling!  Anyone can use a reminder...

There is also an accompanying activity book called My Mouth Is a Volcano Activity and Idea Book. In the book, there is a project called "Button Up"  I tried this with my students this year and it was a success!  Each student is given a button and an index card.  On one side, they color their card green and write "Speak with good purpose" and on the other side, they color the card red and glue their button.  Beside the button they draw an up arrow in black.  The card is taped to their desk (button side up).  The teacher can use the card during instruction.  When it is the teacher's turn to talk, she tells students to flip their card to the button side (to remind them to button up!) and when it is time for student talk, they are asked to flip their cards to the green side.  I love this activity because I think its a great way to extend the lesson into everyday learning.  I'm a fan of anything that serves as a visual reminder!  So far, the teachers seem to like the idea and are using it. 

What types of visual reminders do you use for classroom guidance?

Dianne Senn

One of my most recent purchases is Small Group Counseling for Children: Grades 2-5.  I really enjoy this book because it has everything you need to run small groups.  How to get started, planning, needs assessments, and lesson plans. This is a great addition to my collection.

Another Dianne Senn gem is Creative Approaches for Counseling Individual Children.  This great book includes sample forms, information gathering tools, tips for identifying the problem, as well as a variety of different topics and ideas for use in individual counseling sessions.  I've used some of the ideas for small groups as well.  There's even a section on behavior support. 

Lastly, for classroom guidance lessons, I've been using Puzzle Pieces: Classroom Guidance Connection ever since my internship!  I still use some of the same lessons.  This book has a collection of lesson plans on almost any topic you can think of for all grades K-5.  This book is one I know I can always turn to when planning classroom lessons.

What other Dianne Senn resources have you used??  I'd love to hear!

Stop, Think, Do!

The steps for self control.  I teach the "stoplight method" in individual, small groups, and sometimes in classroom guidance.  It's an easy way for kids to visualize their thought processes.  I first learned about this on the yahoo elementary school counselors listserve, and I've tweaked it for my kiddos.  I start by asking them what happens when mom or dad is driving down the road and they come to a red light?  They all yell out "stop!" We then talk about the other colors...slow down, and go.  I tell them that the traffic light "controls" the drivers on the road to keep everyone safe.  We talk about what would happen if people ignored the traffic lights.  They all comment "they would wreck."   I then explain that this is the stoplight for their brain!  It helps them control their decisions and also helps prevent "wrecks" from happening in their life.  Sometimes when we "go" without thinking first, disaster strikes...we get in trouble, someone gets hurt, etc.  We then talk about each step....Red means "stop!", yellow means "slow down and think!" and green means "go!"  We have to think about our actions before we go!  I keep this posted right beside my board where I teach my groups for easy access.  I use this several times a week at least!  I even have a traffic light that lights up that I sometimes pull out.  This is a great technique to help with impulsivity and self control.

Have You Filled a Bucket Today?

"Everyone has an invisible bucket.  You can't see it, but it's there"...This is one of my favorites!  Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud teaches children the concept of words and actions and their impacts on people.  When someone does something kind for someone else, it "fills up their bucket" with good thoughts and feelings.  But when someone does something unkind to someone else, it "dips out of their bucket."  Students can easily make the connection to real life.  I use this book in so many ways!!  Last year, I read this story to all grade levels as part of introduction to the counselor lesson.  All year long, students made references to the book as they noticed other students behaviors.  That really filled my bucket!  This year, I regretfully did not use the book with all grade levels, but I will definitely pick it back up again next year!  Not only does this book apply to classroom guidance lessons, but also in small groups or individual counseling sessions.  I use this book during my initial sessions in small groups (particularly in self-esteem, in-control, and anger management groups).  The students love it.  We then practice filling up someone's bucket.  Definitely one to add to your collection!

Below is my "paper" bucket in my room.  The flowers have bucket-fillers from my self esteem/friendship groups.