Friday Finds: Weird!

I have already blogged about so many great bullying resources out there, but what I was looking for was something so that kids could see all of the people involved:  the target, the bully, and the bystanders.  I wanted to be able to discuss what each person's role and responsibility was in bullying.  When reading another blog, I came across the most fantastic series of books about this very topic!  The books in the series are Weird!, Tough! and Dare! by Erin Frankel.  All three books tell the same story, but from different perspecties:  Weird! gives the persective of Luisa (the target of the bullying), Tough! gives the perspective of Sam (the bully), and Dare! gives the perspective of Jayla (the bystander). 

The thing I like the most about this series of books is that it is so comprehensive!  As I previously stated, it covers the responsiblities that each person involved in bullying has.  Students learn that they have a role in stopping bullying, even if they are not the bully or the target.  Everyone has a role.  Depending on your need, these books can be used one at a time, or in a series of lessons.  At my school, we have something called Wildcat Team Time where classes spend the first 20 minutes of every day talking about the 7 Habits and related prosocial skills.  I have not been able to keep these books on my shelf because so many teachers are wanting to use them for WTT lessons!  Most of them take the time to go through each book with a fine tooth comb so that kids really understand.  Another thing that is AWESOME is that in the back of each book, there are discussion ideas, lesson ideas, etc.  Also, if you go to www.theweirdseries.com, there is a free downloadable leaders guide!  Free is my favorite.

Like I previously stated, teachers have been begging to use this book in their classrooms during WTT.  I've even talked to my principal about ordering several sets so we can keep them available for classrooms to check out.  I have used this series in classrooms and individual counseling, and would definately be suitable for small groups as well.  I hope to use the series in its entirety during classroom guidance next year.

I know that you will love these books as much as I have, and that you will see how your students understand the concept of the bystander so much better when it's connected to the other two stories.  ENJOY!

Committing to Make a Difference

I've already posted about the Trudy Ludwig books that make my heart sing!  This year I worked with 5th grade on bullying between friends.  We read the story My Secret Bully and had a great discussion on how bullying between friends can occur.  Later in the year, I decided to focus more on bullying and what role each and every one of us plays.  I had one 5th grade classroom who had a particularly hard time, so I went in for 5 days to co-teach with the teacher.  After this, we decided for me to focus my monthly guidance lesson in all of the 5th grade classrooms on bullying again.  I picked out parts of Confessions of a Former Bully to discuss with students, focusing on the roles of the bystander, the bully, and the target.  We talked about what each of us could do to make an impact on bullying.  As we read the story, I told the students that whenever they felt inspired to do so, they could go up to the poster and write down their commitment to stopping bullying.  Here's what the end result looks like:

I also hung up a poster with some of the helpful information from the book so that students could reference it if needed.  This is hung in the 5th grade hallway so that students can always be reminded of their commitment.

How do you get students to commit to stop bullying at your school?

Trudy Ludwig

For today's Friday Find, I am excited to write about one of my favorite authors, Trudy Ludwig.  We all teach lessons on bullying to students, but a  lot of the time the bullying that is going on is relational ("bullying between friends" as I describe it to students).  Don't get me wrong...I love my Bully Beans lesson, but sometimes the strategies we use in teaching this type of bullying do not address problems between friends.  Every year, especially in 4th and 5th grade, my purple mailbox is flooded with notes from students wanting to talk about a problem with a friend.  Most of the time it is something along the lines of:  "Susie stole my friend Sara" or "Susie is hanging out with Sara now and not with me so I don't like it" or  "I'm trying to hang out with my new friend Susie, but Susie's other friend is giving me dirty looks."  And trust me--it's not just girls.  Trudy Ludwig's books address this specific type of bullying and fit right in with the goals and strategies that I'm trying to instill in my 4th and 5th grade students.  My favorite ones are My Secret Bully, Trouble Talk, and, Confessions of a Former Bully.

 

My favorite part about Trudy Ludwig's books is that they lend themselves to some excellent discussions.  Usually all I have to do is bring up the topic and students already begin opening up about their personal experiences.  After reading the stories, students are easily able to come up with real life connections, and even come up with some solutions using ideas from the characters.  My favorite types of lessons are the ones that get kids talking.  I always address the fact that this happens between boys and girls, and the funny part is that a lot of the boys start nodding their heads!

As I previously stated, there's not a lot of planning that goes into a lesson using one of these great books.  Usually for classroom guidance, I review what we already know about bullying.  Next, I tell the class that we're going to talk about a type of bullying that isn't as talked about:  bullying between friends.  I have students give me some examples of what "bullying between friends" looks like.  They are easily able to tell me (as they are seeing it happen in their class and at recess!).  It never fails that students will bring up those topics that I get the counseling referrals about:  friends stealing friends, friends spreading rumors, friends ignoring them.  Next, we read one of the stories and have a discussion.  This year, I used Trouble Talk with 4th grade to focus on the gossip and rumors, and My Secret Bully in 5th grade to focus more about "friends stealing friends."  Confessions of a Former Bully is very empowering because it gives the "inside scoop" from a former bully.  I haven't used this one in the classroom yet, but plan to soon!  These books have also lent themselves to some great discussions in individual and small group counseling as well. 

How have you used Trudy Ludwig's books to facilitate discussions on relational aggression?

Bully B.E.A.N.S.

First of all, let me state that I LOVE all of Julia Cook's books.  Her books have a very clever way of discussing issues.  Not to mention, they have accompanying activity books (purchased seperately) so planning is super easy!  I'm sure I will be writing several posts about her books.  With that said, my absolute favorite is Bully B.E.A.N.S.  Whenever I introduce this book to a class, they all say "What?!" A lot of them think I'm going to teach them how to be bullies.  In the book, the reader meets Bobette, the bully.  I always point out how the illustrator draws Bobbette so that she looks bigger than the rest of the kids.  We talk about why he must have done that.  We come to the conclusion that the author wants to show us that she has the power.  The kids (the bystanders) in the book learn that they must find the confidence inside themselves to stand up to the bully.  As a reminder, one girls mom gives her bully beans.  She tells her they are magical beans that help her stand up to the bully.  They finally figure out that the beans are just regular jelly beans, but just serve as a reminder of what they already can do. 

This book has promoted some awesome discussions in the classrooms I use it in.  Kids just open up and talk about the characters and immediately start making connections to real life.  We focus on the power of the bully vs. the power of the bystanders.  Then we do an activity from the Bully B.E.A.N.S. Activity and Idea Book to show the importance of the bystander.  The bystanders can take away the power of the bully when they work together.  In the activity book, there is an activity where you use a blanket and have students demonstrate this power struggle.  You label one student as the bully, one as the victim, and 3 as the bystanders.  They line up like this: bully, bystanders, victim.  The bully starts out with the blanket and then slowly the bystanders start pullying the blanket (the power) back over to the victim.  We talk about how the power needs to be equally balanced.  It's a really powerful lesson!

I also keep a jar of "bully beans" on my desk as a reminder for students.  Sometimes students come in to see me and say they need a bully bean.  They are asked to tell me how they're going to use it before I give them one.  This is one that the kids still talk about!